A Bottle of cold water.......

I stand in the sun......

Im thirsty.

I crave for water....

The life giving Love.....

A bottle of cold water

entrances me.....

The water being my

lifeless cold tears.

As the droplets

trickle down slowly

So do my tears

and the pain...

COLD !!!

Cold as the ice

my heart thats frozen

and the love dead within...

All i need

is a bottle of cold water

my absolute life lies inside it!

Trapped as it is....

never trying to redeem

I see the elixir

coming to me......

My thirst for life

slowly dies down..

as i swallow the cold water

my craving stops!

All that is left now is

the empty bottle

and All that has vanished is

just the cold water !!!!

~ Sanz

Lonliness........

The depth of gloom

eats me inside

Devours me slowly

tasting each bit of mine

Enjoying the essence

as i break down into pieces

It eats my soul(sigh)

Now there's pain in my eyes

I am the cause of my...

my own destruction

My sweet little fate

My bitter neat truth

I pass into nothingness

bit by bit, piece by piece

And all thats left now

is ashes...

Ashes of my burnt heart

which cried in flames

with tears of crimson blood

and the reason is ME!

coz I have led myself into this

and no one but me

can give me eternal bliss...

Bring me back to life i scream...

but Im captive in my own bonds (sigh)

I need love to free me

free me from the shackles

Shackles of what i call Lonliness.......

~ Sanz

Its over.......... A final Note.....!!

:X DEAD........... till the end of it...... X:

It makes me sick
It makes me cry
sumtyms....... i even wanna die

But That's hw its suppose to be
Its my choice nd i face it
Life is queer
i guess mysterious

U choose u fight
u lose nd finally run away
Among the very few they lie
who choose not to die

They win in the struggle
with flying colours
they keep hope .... nd inspire

Inspire the others who
have lost it all the way
wid a ray of hope
they shout out the true meanin ov life....

Honestly sayin..... to be one of em is not difficult
I knw hw it is..... I knw hw it is

Im tired of this everyday crap
I need a break
But it makes me come again
I hate it...... its eating me inside!
I guess i need to say a final goodbye

Coz if its not now........
It will never be
Its my destiny.....
Nd i choose to be free
Im not runnin away I say
Its a fight....... nd im gonna win it yet AGAIN!!!

For whence it had commenced
I stuggled nd survived
Now when its WAR II
I sheild myself.......
nd am on the battleground to defeat it Again!

Yes to all of u who say i can't
I don't need to proove a thing
Its me nd im gonna be forever
It may be my pride
my arrogance......
HELL YEAH!! i knw im gonna be forever

I knw im wasting my time at this
But i'll be fresh to start over
Start over sumthing i'd left halfway
its MY LIFE ...... nd i get to choose

Its never too late.....
Its a mixture of thoughts
Hatred for one...... nd hatred of all

The past is gone
The future yet to come!
Whr do u stand?
its In the present .... Dont run!

So here i am.......... Sayin a final goodbye
To it that i hate the most.......
Nd to him whoever made me hate it the most......

Ive decided its best for me
To be peaceful till ETERNITY !!
All u can love is urself nd all u can care for
is yet urself......
so bye nd fi to the fictious virtual world
Im going Back to reality.....
A place i TRULY deserve!!

~ Sanz ~

Little Things !

" Move on man!! "

thats what everyone tells me...........but how can i move on......

how can i move on when i dont really want to!!

When having you was such a pleasure........thinking about you my relief

i await every single moment to see you

to speak to you.........

and there you are.....

your over me

how easy it was for you to forget me

But im a girl and most of all myself

its not so simple for me to deny it

its not that simple for me

2 years back when you told me how special i was to you

It was you that i always wanted.......

i loved you from the deepest inside .......

i loved you through all those fights

and today when i look back at us

tears fill my eyes

i want you beside me

i want to hold your hand

i crave for your look

oh i want you soo bad

despite all the conversations we had

despite you telling me you'll never come back

its hard to believe its over so soon

i dont want to admit the fact!!!

When love is captured by darkness

misunderstandings fill your life

the one you truly love

even he leaves ur side

its then when you realise how lonely you are

its then when you realise ........

I love you but im not in love with you

these lines pinched me so bad

it was when i understood what you meant

its now that i can realise

i feel the same all through

that im not in love with you

but the diffrence between you and me is

you moved on but i want to fall back in love with you

or probably i miss the time we were together

and i still havent found someone better

but one day when i find my true love

i'll realy miss us being together!

im clueless, im lost

sometimes i even wonder

why do i always think of you

why do i want us to be together

why do i want you???

why did u have to be so nice to me

love me like a crazy lover 

promise those wonderful things to me

that have decayed and rotted and are finally over

I guess its better off this way

We were never really meant for each other

Thanks for all the time we shared

Somehow you made me stronger

strong enough to face this god-damn world!!

strong enough to bear the bitterness

most of all you made me fall

and i guess i'll learn to rise again

I know all of us change with time

and ewwwwwww i soo hate this fact

but trying to love life the way it is

You always make me cry

be it for the good or the bad

Now i really want to end the drama

When i think i want to fall in luv with you again

I know i dont really want to

All i want is to be free

free from all the atrocities

To rise out of the dreary world of pain

To be loved and love those who really care

I know i'll miss you my beautiful past

Its just that the pain is new

When it learns to settle down inside my heart

I'll be fine then

I'll just be fine without YOU!!

~ Sanz

Fading Love !!

He came into my life

like an eternal bliss

He woke up my sleep

with a tender kiss

He closed my shining eyes

and whispered to me

" I'll love you my sweetheart

unconditionally!!"

He made me a promise

of feelings to share

of heart and soul

and humble care

Romatic songs 

that he sung to me

Portrayed their meaning

more clearly

But now he's gone

so far away

leaving the memories

that will never decay

All that has happened 

has made us sad

My condition without him

is very bad

His looks and love 

these fights have changed

the bond between us 

is not the same

Lovers are enemies

Words are spears

Life is hollow 

and truly mere

Those vows those thoughts

those moments .......forlorn

Its painful to know

I'm all alone!!

~Sanz

2 Faces

 Is it real??

I dont think so
the world's two faced
nd fake...yes i know

Friends and foes
no one u can trust
even ur loved ones
they too make u hurt

the pain is so bad
as if sum1 ripped ur heart
foes dont matter much
but its ur friends who mean a lot

Friendship has become
something so abstract
it's a bottomless chasm
nd the feelings-- a mere fact!!!!

is that was friends have become?????
its a pity on mankind
wen i luk upto my elders
i can see what they dont find!

TRUST ----- the controvertial truth.....
which can never build up..........
selfishness takes over
nd the loves dies deep under

Down inside the heart
u subconsciously knw
u really wanna trust the person
but sumthings dont let go

nd these lil sumthings that stop u
eat u in nd out
u dunno wad to do
yes.........YOU ARE THE BIGGEST DOUBT!!!

the doubt whether to trust the person
its just human nature
blindness leads u to the edge
nd assumption into the locked room

maybe the edge is a better option
atleast its unknown death
but the locked room is a bigger danger
coz then u invite ur end!!!

Humans r the biggest hypocrites
nd wen i say this......i even mean myself
coz even im in a state of dilemma
should it be the room or the unknown edgE?????

i lost sumone coz of assumptions
i dun wanna repeat it again
but the lil sumthings r too BIG
i neither want to be at the edge!!!

I wish people cud be simple
nd not so difficult as they are
although a part of me knows the fact,
" People are not difficult......theyre just different.....theyre JUST DIFFERENT!!!!"

So here i come bak to the 2 faces......
the 2 faces of this so called world

"Wad u see is not what its like
nd wad its like ...... u do not see"

Im tired of these hide nd seek games
Tired of its 2 faces
Coz this fake world is tryina change me
It has given me MY OTHER FACE.....

I wish i cud just be myself
Just be wad i want to be
I wish people were sweet as they seem like
I wish they cud all be clean!!!

I wish we cud all live together
In a world of Happiness nd trust
I wish all the lies in the world wud die out
I wish We we cud smile nd not curse!!!!!!!!!

I wish the world soon lost its 2 faces
I wish it cud be more wise.....
The face of the world would then be ME
nd the Truth Wud all be MINE !!!!

~ Sanz

The Ultimate Truth of Life : TRANSITION

TRANSITION

I opened my eyes
to see the beauty
of nature - God's creation
nd the world doing its duty

My heart thumped hard
and i began to breathe
When i entered this world
which was so just like a dream

I saw and heard
perceived all things
The lovely trees
and birds with beautiful wings

The mighty mountains
and the cold air
This world of which
I still wasn't aware

As a child i enjoyed
every experience
protected by love
away from any grievance

Now i've grown up
and am a little mature
I can see the bitterness
of life to endure

This world is no longer
as beautiful as it was!
Man has DESTROYED it
with no worthy cause

Life seems difficult
with hardships ahead
"Keep heart and courage"
my elders have said

This world which was
so dear to me
is captured by evils
and is willing to be free

Life is a ladder
climb step by step
Do your deeds
and move ahead

I've learnt a lesson
to reach to the top
that i have to work
for evils to stop

with hard work nd efforts
this world can be freed
love being my companion
i will surely SUCCEED!!!!

~Sanz